A La Carte Menu In The Skies Formerly Known As Friendly

We have air travel very much on the brain these days, in sympathy with all the people fantastically inconvenienced by the winter weather that has handcuffed many European hubs. Excuse the vulgarity, but it sucks. Today, Prime Minister David Cameron suggested calling in the Armed Forces to help London's Heathrow sort out its really horrible mess. Ugh.

Anyway, the echo of disappointment at cancelled flights will be heard for, well, for a long time. Maybe longer than radio insists on playing Billy Joel songs. It might just get to the point of consumer revolt, whereupon there are only two airlines left, having been replaced in the competitive marketplace by private jet, steamship, bamboo raft, pogo stick....When that day comes, let's hope one of the airlines is Swiss Air, if only for the in-flight menu options. On all international flights, here are the offerings (please don't miss the "bland menu" and extra credit for the long-haul crowd pleaser, chicken nuggets for kids):

Vegetarian Hindu menu Indian-style menu omitting meat, fish, eggs, poultry, lard and gelatine products

Vegetarian Oriental menu Chinese style vegetarian products

Vegetarian Jaina menu Indian style vegetarian meal prepared in accordance with jainistic customs

Vegetarian lacto-ovo menu Contains dairy and egg products, but no meat or fish.

Vegetarian / vegan menu Meat-free Western style meal without dairy products.

Hindu menu Meals are prepared in accordance with religious guidelines.  May contain lamb, poultry or fish. Beef and dairy products are excluded.

Kosher menu Meals are prepared, packed and sealed only by rabbis in accordance with kosher guidelines.

Halal Menu Meals are prepared in accordance with religious guidelines and contain no pork.

Diabetic menu Diet meal without sugar and carbohydrates.  The nutritional values and information are clearly stated.

Bland menu Light, low-fat meals including mildly seasoned lean meat or fish.

Gluten intolerance menu Contains neither cereals (wheat, rye, barley, oats) nor starchy foods.

Low-calorie menu Meals prepared with low-calorie foods.  Meals do not include any pasta, baked goods or products containing cream.

Low-fat menu Ingredients containing minimum levels of fat, no cholesterol.

Lactose-free menu Diet meals containing lactose-free products.

Baby menu (up to 24 months) Consists of a glass of vegetable purée and a glass of fruit purée.

Children‘s menu (2-11 years) A balanced, child-friendly menu without the addition of hot spices.  Some examples: pasta with tomato sauce, chicken nuggets etc.  And to think, on American you get attitude if you ask for a blanket.